Hello World... I'm still here!

It has been one very weird week... one that left me feeling a little... well... invisible!  I have had more miscommunication this week than I can ever remember having in such a short period of time.  Today was the icing on the cake...

I work from home most days.  Which means sometimes I'm so eager to get to work that I forget the little morning routines like starting the coffee, brushing my hair, or getting out of my pajamas.  It's no big deal, no one sees me except the kids and they're just secretly jealous that they don't get to wear pajamas all day.  On these days, I dive headfirst into work and barely ever come up for air.  I get tons accomplished and then around 3pm a little voice speaks to me... it's the voice of one of my kids getting home from school.  Oh no... is it really afternoon already?!?!

At this point my stomach starts to growl and my head starts to hurt and I begin to realize that not only am I deprived of my normal caffeine reserves, but I also haven't bothered to digest even the smallest scrap of food all day.  At this point, I must confess, I become a little crazy.  I need food and I need it now!  Of course, these are also the days when I can't find anything to eat in the house... except maybe the odd can of mystery food that lost it's label sometime back in 2005... but I'm not feeling quite that brave yet and besides... I have a car!!  So, ignoring my unkempt hair and oh-so-out-of-style pajamas (usually yoga pants and a tank top), I throw on a hoodie, flip flops and my largest sunglasses and head out the door... hoping no one sees me as I speed to the nearest drive-thru.

Today was one of those days, and I hit the Popeye's drive through like a madwoman on a mission.  My first horror was that the little drive through display only lists some of their choices in a diabolical scheme to allow more room for ugly photos of various combos of fried poultry.  After a quick scan, I was relieved to find something I wanted to eat on the menu and ordered, "a 3-piece chicken strip box (mild) with honey mustard sauce, a diet coke with no ice and a sweet potato pie". 

You see, I didn't want too much chicken because then I wouldn't want dinner until 2am and that cuts into my sleeping time.... so 3 pieces sounded good.  Unlike some people, I don't always like to test how many hot & spicy foods I can cram into my mouth at once... thus the mild flavor and the honey mustard sauce.  Diet Coke... what can I say... I'm addicted and I need caffeine.  As for the pie... well... I love sweet potato pie and although the fast food version is a pale imitation of a southern classic and I normally hate fast food pies, especially apple... I'm just hungry and it sounds good. 

I got to the window, quickly paid for my food and did the quick scan of the bag before driving off... chicken, check... sauce, check... drink, check... pie, check.  I quickly drive home, ducking my head and hoping to get in the house without my brand new neighbors catching sight of my pajama-clad self.... as I'm beginning to think the hoodie might not cover all the horrors underneath.  I mange this feat with flying colors and get safely back to my room with no one the wiser and begin unpacking the bag.  What I have... is a 5-piece chicken strip meal (spicy & with fries), spicy hot mustard, a regular Coke with ice and... yuck... an apple pie! 

Now fortunately for the Popeye's people... I'm just too damn smart to think I can pull off yet another incognito drive-thru run in the same day, so instead of going back and yelling my head off, I sit and eat parts of my crummy meal and feed the rest to the kids.  Turns out they are even better than dogs for getting rid of foods you don't like or want... and they don't usually slobber when they eat.  But for the rest of the evening it confuses me... why did they bother asking what I wanted if they were just going to give me whatever the hell they felt like putting in the bag?!?!  Did they even hear me order, or am I invisible?!?!

I decided trying to come up with an answer was futile and then decided to focus on updating my social media sites instead.  I popped on the computer and... every single one of my sites forgot me.  Now, I'm used to this happening if I delete my cookies or update something... but I hadn't done any of those things and they all forgot me.  So, I signed on to every one of them... being sure to check the little "Remember me" box... which I am now convinced is only for decoration.  Then I got offline to get some other work done and when I went back online... they all forgot me again!!!  How can I not take this personally?!?!  First Popeye's and now all my social media sites... am I still here... can you all hear me?!?!

So here I sat... poor little me... feeling all invisible and then the most amazing thing happened!  My phone buzzed... someone still knew I existed... although I crossed my fingers hoping to whatever God would listen that it wasn't just a telemarketer!  Turns out it was a text from my boyfriend telling me he loves me and misses me... and just like that, all is right with the world again.  I'm still here!!!! :)

My Car vs the DMV... I think my car is possessed!

 My car has a mind of it's own and apparently it has made up it's mind that it does not want a valid license plate.  It has been battling with the Seretary of State's (SOS) office, License Plate Division, since I bought it almost a year and a half ago and apprently is not ready to give up the fight quite yet. 

In September of 2009, I managed to kill my 11-year old minivan by trying to drive it through a large body of water... I know... not a smart idea.  Later that week, after all attempts to revive the minivan had been unsuccessful, I purchased my seafoam green 5-year old Chevy Trailblazer.  The death of the minivan and subsequent purchase of the Trailblazer occured two states away from home and it was an enlightening experience in many ways.  But that's not what our little story here is about.  This is the story of what my Trailblazer has been up to since that time.

Since I bought the car in another state they told me it could take up to a month to get the title transfered to my state.  They gave me a temporary plate from the dealer that was set to expire one month from the purchase date of the car.  A week later my boyfriend bought a car and got his plates that same day... I was so jealous!  A month came and went and there had apparently been no progress made on the title transfer... it was bogged down in red tape somewhere in one of the state offices.  This didn't bother me much, except that my temporary plate had the expiration date written on it in big giant black marker and I really didn't want to get pulled over.  So, I called the dealer and asked for a new temporary plate.  That is when the fun began.  The dealer said they couldn't give me a new plate because that would be illegal and assured me that they had sent everything to my State office and it should all be resolved shortly.  This didn't sit too well with me, so I went to my local Department of Motor Vehicles (ah, the DMV... always a fun errand) to find out what the State was doing with my title (my first assumption was paper airplanes, but I still can't confirm this).  The DMV told me it could take several months to process everything and that the dealer had to give me a new temporary plate.  The popular rock and hard place saying was now coming to mind.  Fortunately, the people at the DMV were being especially helpful that day and called the dealer for me.  They arranged for me to get a new temporary plate (which I had to drive to the dealer, 2 states away, to get) and said everything would be fine.. until next month. 

This headache went on for over three months before the title was finally transfered and I was able to apply for real license plates.  Everytime I looked at my temporary plates, I got the feeling the car was giggling at me, but that would be crazy on my part, so I ignored it.  I got the license plates, installed them on my car and went on my happy, carefree way.

One week after getting my plates, I went to get in my car after working a full day to find it sitting there without license plates.  They had vanished while I was at work... mounting hardware included.  At this point, I think the car was out and out laughing at me, but I would get this fixed one way or another. 

The next day, I spent my lunch hour at the DMV getting a set of replacement plates with a new number.  These replacement plates have now been on my car for a year... which means they must be renewed.  You can renew license plates at any currency exchange around here, so I went to the closest one last Friday to get my renewal sticker.  Unfortunately, they were unable to find my current plate number in the system.  My old (disappeared) plate number was still in there, but since that wasn't the plate on the car they weren't able to renew anything.  I was going to have to head back to the DMV to get things corrected... yippee!

I drove to the DMV first thing Saturday morning.  You see, I had forgotten to get them renewed in time and my plates were 2 weeks overdue and now that I found out they were invalid, I was a little paranoid driving the car around.  If I got pulled over it would mean a huge headache and probably a court visit.  Upon arrival at the DMV Saturday morning, I discovered that Saturday was Washington's Birthday, which the DMV feels compelled to close for, despite the fact that they had already taken Lincoln's Birthday and President's Day off.  This means an entire weekend of driving around in a car with non-existant, invalid plates... not my idea of fun.

Today, I was finally able to get back to the DMV to get this corrected.  I had been there so much last year that the woman remembered me by name!  She and I had a good laugh about my car not wanting license plates and she said it would be easy to fix and I would be out the door in 5 minutes.  She updated my plate info, handed me a paper to take to the cashier and told me to come back to her after I paid so we could verify that the new plate was in the system.  You may think at this point that the DMV has finally outsmarted my car, but think again.  When I got to the cashier I was told they couldn't process the renewal because my car needed an emissions test!  The cashier said the first person I talked to could probably get me an extension and to go back and ask her.  Well,  to make a long story short (at this point that might not be possible), the computers on one side of the room at the DMV thought my car needed an emissions test, while the computers on the other side of the room disagreed.  I could see my car out the window grinning, thinking it had finally won.  After numerous trips back and forth across the room with various levels of supervisors, they finally called the main office in our state capitol and had to remove me entirely from the system and put me back in.  What should have taken 5 minutes had now taken almost an hour, but the DMV and I had finally beaten my car.  I rushed outside with my victory renewal sticker and placed it on the rear license plate.  I was finally driving a legally licensed car... a filthy legally licensed car.... I really needed to get it washed.

So, after all my turmoil at the DMV, I took my car over to the carwash to get spiffed up.  This particular car wash lets you sit in the driver's seat as your car is pulled through the tunnel and cleaned by various forms of hanging clothes and squirting water.  At the end of the tunnel there is a huge dryer your car passes through before exiting the car wash.  Just as I was getting to the dryer, I watched  from inside the car as my front license plate shot off the front of my car, arching high in the air like a projectile missile, before landing about 20 feet ahead of me.  This was just too much!  The car wash attendant handed me the plate through my window exclaiming, "You car must really not like it's license plates.  I've never seen that happen.  Usually if they fall off they just fall straight down but yours rocketed off the front of your car like it was shot from a cannon!"  I was too busy dissolving into fits of laughter to answer... if he only knew!

Tonight my car sits in the garage.  The front license plate is still inside the car on the passenger seat and I am sure my car is currently plotting the removal of the rear plate as well.  The DMV and I may have had a brief victory today, but my possessed car seems to be winning the war.

I take offense to the fact that you're offended

Why do we do it?  Why do we personalize every little thing others say and find ways to take offense in each little word they utter?  Are we that bored in our lives that we have nothing better to do than pick apart the comments of others?  Perhaps it's unavoidable... perhaps we have to be offended all the time, about everything... but perhaps we don't?  I'm back on my soapbox today and now, I'm offended.  I'm offended that everyone else is offended.

Our current society celebrates the offensive.  Look at TV ratings and movie ticket sales... Americans (I'm from America, so I'm sticking to what I know) are obsessed with the offensive.  We celebrate the Simpsons, Family Guy, Jerry Springer, etc.  The more offensive they get, the more of us watch.   We create falsely dramatic reality tv shows that cause us to ignore our own reality to run home and watch to see what the most obnoxios individuals will do this week.  We celebrate movies as hilarious that can't offer any form of intelligence, only explicit language and body, sex and fart humor.  I hear a lot of people say show like the Simpsons are extremely brilliant... bullshit... it's writers simply have to look at what will offend the most people on any given day to get them the good ratings.

I think I should clarify here that I am not including myself in this "us/we"... I actually choose NOT to watch these types of shows.  It's not that I find them shocking or horrifying, it's that I simply don't find them funny or entertaining at all.  I also see these types of shows as being a huge problem for our society in general.

Despite the fact, that we should be completely desensitized to this offensiveness with it being thrust in our face at every turn, we seem to be becoming more sensitive to it instead.  It's no wonder the world is in constant turmoil and we are currently going through a global crisis.  Religious groups find reasons to be offended by eachother... usually focusing on a moment in history so long ago that we can't even name a single one of our ancestors that was involved.  Races find reasons to offend eachother... again based on history, although sometimes more recent, and acts that the person you're talking to likely had nothing to do with.  Countries find eachother intollerable and offensive.... it is no longer ok for a country we can't stand to exist in their own space... with the globe being so accessible, we can now offend eachother from halfway around the world in an instant.  Political groups no longer simply disagree, they offend.  Men offend women and vice versa.  Companies whose practices and policies we don't agree with are now offensive to us on an individual level. 

Herein lies the problem. It's not usually personal, and yet people have become so quick to internalize these things and take on a personal crusade to abolish that which they now find offensive.  In a world with so much trouble, do we really need to use every potential catalyst to stir up more?  I prefer not to.  It's actually pretty difficult to offend me.  I try to avoid interjecting things in my life that will cause to me to be offended.  I also try not to personalize things unless they are meant to be personal.  If someone says something offensive to me, I will call them on it.  If they make a comment I don't agree with, I may debate it (sometimes at length), but I will not be offended unless the debate turns personal.  Some things just aren't meant to be personal.  In this time of global interconnectedness, it's usally easy to use cyclical thinking to say that something is personal that really isn't. 

I'm going to give a recent example that many people will probably try to argue with me about.... AIG and their corporate salaries and bonuses.  Many people would say that AIG giving out huge corporate salaries while accepting federal aid is offensive.  They would argue that it is their tax dollars and is therefore personal to them.  They will read into this occurance until they find a reason to be offended.  And why shouldn't they?  The news media told us repeatedly that we should be offended.  Politicians who were against the bail out remind us constantly how offensive these salaries and bonuses are to each of us.  So how can I use this as an example and say I don't find it offensive... easy... I'm not offended.  Yes, I pay those same taxes, but the amount of my tax dollars that went to AIG would probably not amount to 1 dinner for my family.  Plus, AIG is a corporation... one I wouldn't mind working for if they're paying so well.  As for the government officials who made the choice... I'm a registered voter and US citizen and I have the power to vote them out of office, run for office myself, and even to campaign to get someone I believe in elected.  The AIG mess is a definate point of debate.  In my opinion it was not a wise move to loan them money without more restrictions.  It's just not offensive.

If we want this world to be a better place, we need to stop focusing so much on the offensive and focus on not offending.  Let's move towards being part of the solution instead of adding more ammunition to the problem.  Next time something offends you, think about how it personally effects you and if it doesn't, find a way to turn that false feeling of offense into positive action.  Instead of being the one bitching about the problem, be one of the few working to come up with a solution.  Listen to other points of view, debate the issue, and discuss the merits of your agruements.  We have far more potential if we work to understand others instead of rushing to be offended by them.

As I close out this little moment of venting on my soapbox, I would like to say that the title and beginning of this blog are wrong.  I am not actually offended by people who are offended.  It just occured to me that people who are always offended would look for more reasons to be offended and be more likely to read my point of view on the matter.  You control how you respond to any given situation ofr stimulous.  Do you really want to pend your entire life feeling offended by people, places and things?  You get back the type of energy you put into the world... make it happy and positive if you want a happy and positive life.

Valentine's Day

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only female on the planet in a relationship who doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day.  I've never been a big fan.  Previously this has been a problem when I'm involved with someone, but I've finally found someone who also doesn't celebrate... although for much different reasons.  I watch my female friends  spend this time of the dropping hints everywhere their significant other might look about what gift would suitably express love... usually over-priced item that they will forget about before the beginning of March.  I also watch in silent amusement as many couples plan weekend retreats to romantic destinations... and get upset if everything doesn't turn out perfect.  I walk through seas of pink and red stuffed animals and chocolate boxes in every store I go to.  This year I can add that I am bombarded by Valentine's themed stuff online, especially on Facebook.  Am I complaining?  No.  I'm actually happy at this time of year for my friends who celebrate this holiday by cramming a years worth of romance into a 24-hour period.  I feel sympathy for the friends who aren't with someone and feel pressured at this time of year too.  I just choose not to take part in the hoopla.

If you've read this far you're probably wondering why I don't celebrate this mass hysteria day of red hearts, roses and chocolate.  I'm guessing you've come to the conclusion that I'm bitter, alone, have been hurt deeply or don't have a romantic bone in my body.  I assure you, none of these assumptions are correct.  I enjoy romance every bit as much as anyone else.  I relish the thought of romantic getaways with the man I love, scented rose petals, candles, frilly red lingerie, love themed cards and all the rest of it.  I'm not bitter about love and I'm with someone I love with all my heart.  I just believe that if you love someone, your expressions of that love should happen all the time, throughout the entire year, when the thought comes to you. 

In the past I've had a lot of guys say I would make the perfect girlfriend since they wouldn't have to celebrate Valentine's Day, but actually my way is harder.  In my world, every day is Valentine's Day.  Every day bring opportunities to express your love for the human being you've choosen to spend your life with.  If the idea occurs to you one day to bring that someone flowers, you should not have to wait for a Hallmark holiday to do it.  I expect little gestures of thoughtfulness and romance all the time.  It's easy to let someone off the hook for Valentine's Day when they express their love throughout the year.  There's no pressure that way to be romantic on a specific calendar day.  What if you're having a bad day, not in the mood, tired or cranky?  I prefer romantic gestures to come from the heart, and they don't have to be anything big.  It could be as simple as getting up to start the coffee maker because I'm not fully awake yet, or lighting me a cigarette when he lights one for himself, or turning off the tv and lighting a couple candles, or surprising me by hiding a card in my car where he knows I'll find it.  These are the things that make a love last through the years.  The big "love" holidays are nothing more than something to gossip about with your friends when you're comparing who's man is better than the rest.  By the way... I always win that arguement.  It seems that most of my friends who have big celebrations of love on anniversaries and romantic holidays don't get the daily expressions of love.  They get a day of forced romance that is then used to get out of any sort of romantic gesture for the remainder of the year.

So I will smile and bite my tongue and let my friends enjoy their special day... and who knows, we may do something romantic that day also if we're in the mood to, but I won't force or schedule it.  Hallmark doesn't run my life... I do!

For those of you who do celebrate, here are a few gift ideas to help you out. For those of you like me, feel free to use these ideas throughout the year!

For Flowers: Send Valentine's Day flowers & gifts from 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, order early & save!

For Jewelry: Fine Jewelry

If you can't cook and need food delivered: Just point, click and eat!

For romantic bath products and towels: Bath and Body Products at Apothica! and Great Gift Idea-Monogram Towels from TurkishTowels.com

And of course let's not forget chocolate: Find the Perfect Valentine's Day Gift at Chocolate.com

And for those who don't have a date yet, there's always Match.com: 5 Days Free with Match.com or Put Personalized Matching to Work for You

Impossible vs. Inconvenient and the element of Personal Choice

As you have read previously, I am attending a webinar this week entitled The Millionaire Affair (http://themillionaireaffair.com/).  Each day we are treated to an interactive presentation from a successful entrepreneur.  I will be writing a summary of yesterday's wonderful speaker, Wendy Moore, in my next post... but first there is something I just have to get out of my head. 

The first day of the series, everything went wrong and yet the experience was wonderful... so wonderful that I wrote a blog post about the unexpected lesson in failure ( http://abysstales.blogspot.com/2010/01/unexpected-lesson-in-failure.html ).  Later that night, I was talking to a friend about my wonderful, positive experience and something happened.  She got very negative and defensive.  Now, I'm not writing about this to bash her in any way... I understand completely where she was coming from (many people fall into the same pattern)... but it's been on my mind ever since and I wanted to get those thoughts out of my skull and into the world where they might be more useful.

What she said (not an exact quote, just the general idea) was, "I saw that webinar event on your Facebook page and wanted to go too, but they scheduled it at such an inconvient time that it's impossible for me to do it because I have to work.  You should tell them that next time they should schedule it at a more convenient time so more people can go."

Impossible... inconvient... and apparently not fair to everyone!   But what I said that night and will expand upon here, is that it was possible for her (and anyone else in the world) to attend and she had choosen not to.  You see, this webinar is an opportunity.  It could have been held on a weekend in a convention hall in Vegas at $1000+ per attendee based on the presenters and the worth of the information they are providing.  Instead, it is being broadcast to a global audience for FREE... online... one hour a day... for 2 weeks.  That's actually a lot more convenient for most people.  It is definately possible to make adjustments in a schedule to accomodate at least one or two of these presentations, even if you can't attend them all.  It is maybe even possible to convince your boss that it would be valuable to them as your employer to alter your schedule a little to let you gain the knowledge these individuals have to share... thus making you a more educated and valuable employee.  It is a personal choice not to even try.

Opportunities come into our lives every day, yet they are usually inconvenient or seem impossible to take advantage of, so we grumble and groan about the opportunity passing us by and how the good life is out of reach for us.  That does not have to be the case.  We each make the personal choice whether or not to make that opportunity a priority.  If it becomes a priority, then we will go to great lengths to rearrange our life to make it a possibility.  Once in opportunity becomes a possibility, we can turn it into the potential for growth and perhaps it will be what you look back on as the opportunity of your lifetime.  One of the biggest differences between those who are living their lives on their own terms and the people that grumble about how unfair things in life are, is the ability to prioritze and choose things based on those priorities.

You make thousands of choices every day on how to spend your time, money, thoughts, etc.  You make these choices based on what is important for you in your life.  Accepting that you have the control over these choices is the first step on the road to making your life what you want it to be.  When an opportunity comes along you need to put it to the test.  Will it benefit you?  Is it aligned with your long term goals?  Is it more important than another obligation you have at that same time?  If it is of equal importance, can you rearrange things to take advantage of both?  Is it perhaps a better opportunity for someone you know (if so... pass it along!!)?  There are many things to consider when an opportunity presents itself but is inconvenient, but the first thing to recognize is it would never come across your path if it was impossible... no matter how inconvenient it may be.  Sometimes you just need to get creative in order to get to the door to open it when opportunity knocks. 

If you didn't take advantage of an opportunity, maybe it just wasn't important enough to your life for you to make it a priority... not every opportunity is right for everyone.  Keep on the lookout for the next one.  In the mean time, get to know yourself and your goals well enough to be able to prioritize the things that are most important in your own life... then you won't be so quick to want to follow someone else's life choices and feel bad when you don't.  We all have to walk our own path in life, and though we may walk together at times, none of us are on the same path.  Find your path and make sure to take advantage of the opportunities that will help you along your way.. no matter how inconvenient or impossible they may seem.

If you found this discussion interesting, you will enjoy a blog post by Derek Sivers.  He will be our presenter on Thursday and posted a blog today about how there are always more than two options.  It follows along the lines of what I have been thinking for the past 2 days...  http://sivers.org/options

Help! There's a phone in my ear!

There's a new law in Illinois regarding driving and cell phones.  It is now illegal to text on your cell or talk on the phone without using an earpiece while you are driving.  Now, I am all for getting distracted idiots off the road, but I'm not liking this law at all.  First of all, the distracted drivers won't be driving any better because they will either be ignoring the law or distracted by something else.  They will be distracted by the radio, the fancy car on the other side of the road, the adorable kitten in the yard they just passed, etc.  The problem is not the phone... the problem is the person using the phone.  If you are a good driver, you pay attention to hundreds of details while driving... the phone is just one more.  If you are easily distracted while driving, you are an accident waiting to happen... phone or not.

For another thing, I hate cell phone ear pieces.  I see people walking around wearing them all day like they are some kind of new fashion accessory.  People... it is for talking on the phone!  If you aren't talking on the phone take it out of your ear!!!  And I really can't stand when you are in a room with someone and they are talking to someone else on the earpiece.  At least when someone is talking on a handset you can see them holding the phone to their ear and know that they aren't talking to you. 

Today I was driving and noticed a very interesting thing.  As I looked at the drivers around me, I noticed that about half of them were still talking or texting on their cell phone handsets.  The most obvious (and incredibly disturbing) case of this was a funeral procession that passed me going the other way.  All but 2 of the 20 drivers (including the guy driving the hearse!!) were on their cell phones... at a funeral... what the hell is that about!?!?!  

With all the driving I do, I want to be able to make effective use of my time and get some quick calls in.  I guess I'll have to give in and get an earpiece.  The problem is... I want to switch phones at some point and I hate having to buy new accessories every time I do this... new case, new car charger and now, new earpices...yuck!  I've been eyeing an iPhone for a couple years now with a few obstacles in my way.  There's the price...YIKES!  The fact that you have to have AT&T... although I could switch with their new unlimited promotion... it's a pretty good deal and it would make the phone a lot cheaper too.  The storage space is limited, but it's much better than it was. 

But now, I have to buy an earpiece for the phone I've already got... cutting into my savings for my next phone and putting it off that much longer.  I guess I'll head to AT&T and investigate.  Maybe I should just go for the iPhone now and save myself all the hassles.  Ugh.  I've only had my phone a few months... I finally got everything set the way I want it.  Stupid IL laws... first the smoking inside thing... now this... they should give us the elecronic cigarettes and the earpieces.  But the way things are going, pretty soon none of us will be able to leave the house without written permission from the governer.  Grrr!

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K!

Can you name the movie that headline is from?  If not, don't worry... I'll get to it eventually, but first I need to vent a little.  I am a product of the 80's and therefore... 80's movies.  I've always loved going to the movies.  It's an escape, a treat, and one of my favorite things to do when I get a few rare hours to myself.  My favorite movie genre is usually comedy, but lately I've been really disappointed.  When did the shift in comedy writing take place?  When did comedy writers stop thinking?  It seems to me that comedy nowadays has turned into one of 3 categories... where is the most absurd place you can throw in a swear word (or other shocking term), what is the raunchiest thing we could possibly film without getting an X-rating (oh and add obnoxious body noises to make it funny... wth?!?!), and what is the most politically incorrect comment we can make that will offend as many people as possible. 

Now, I'm pretty easy going.  I don't mind swearing or references to sex in movies and I don't get offended easily, but c'mon people.  I miss intelligent humor!  It doesn't really take a lot of thought to shock the public and make them giggle uncomfortably in their seats.  This isn't real laughter and certainly not intelligent humor.  In fact, I can feel the brain cells being sucked out of my head when I am forced to watch shows like South Park, Family Guy, The Simpsons, etc.  Movies are now starting to follow suit.  I understand it's probably much cheaper to make these kinds of movies... scripts are probably a dime a dozen.  Afterall, how much thought goes into having a woman say the word "cock" a couple times to get the cheap laugh (movie: The Ugly Truth).  It's not that I don't ever enjoy a little dumbed-down humor, but I'd like my smart humor, physical comedy, and comedy with a plot back too.  Another example of how stupid society has gotten... a bunch of people will soon be rushing out to see a movie where an old has-been wrestling star dresses up as the tooth fairy... how is that funny?!?!?!  Is it just me?

So, I've been increasing my selection of humorous old movies.  The problem is I've already seen them all.  I still enjoy watching them... especially with my kids, who haven't seen them before, but I long for some new, funny material.  In the meantime, here's a toast to movie's like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure ("Strange things are afoot at the Circle K!")... which actually, despite being the 80's version of a dumbed-down movie, had some brilliant comedy and taught me quite a few things about history.  Then there are other favorites... Coming to America, The Blues Brothers, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead, Pure Luck, Romancing the Stone and too many more to list.  Try rewatching some of these classics with a big bowl of popcorn ... after all, today is National Popcorn Day!  I'm going to be breaking out the new DVD copy of Pure Luck for us tonight!  I can't wait!  If you want to bulk up your DVD comedy selections, check out my favorites at Amazon! 

Post your own favorite comedy movies in the comment section and be sure to check out my new rating buttons which will be appearing at the end of each blog post.  Take a minute to rate this post... you can choose more than one if you need to.