On Realtionships...

I was at the book store the other day and found myself walking through an aisle of relationship books.  I was amazed at how many of them there were!  Are relationships really that hard for people?!?!  I tend to think people overcomplicate the issue so much that even the most basic relationship becomes impossible.  How are you supposed to connect to another person while trying to remember all the expert "rules"?  It's exhausting to think about, much less implement!!!

So here's my advice... forget all of it!!!  That's right, foget every little piece of advice you've read before.  It turns out relationships are simple!  People gravitate towards people that make them feel good... those that make them happy.  They tend to avoid those who make them feel bad or unhappy.  That's it... relationships in a nutshell.

Here's an example...  Your husband goes for a night out with the guys.  They laugh, drink beer, belch and scratch themselves a lot... male bliss.  He comes home eager to tell you about his wonderful time and you start nagging.  He's 30 minutes late, he forgot to take out the trash before he left, the kids gave you a hard time and he wasn't there to back you up, he spent to much, he smells like beer, etc.  You slink off silently to your respective sides of the bed and go to sleep, both in a bad mood.  The next time he goes out with the guys, he will probably be an hour late and already in a bad moos before he returns home... and thus begins a vicious cycle.

Now envision this... Your husband goes for a night out with the guys. They laugh, drink beer, belch and scratch themselves a lot... male bliss.  You notice he's running late, so you decide to use the time to throw on a fabulous lacy nightgown, light a few candles, listen to some great mood music and read a book while you wait.  He arrives home eager to tell you about his wonderful time and immediately forgets what he wanted to say upon seeing you in all your fabulous laciness.  You have wonderful sex, followed by patiently listening to his stories of the farting contests from earlier that night.  Kiss goodnight and fall asleep in eachother's arms.  The next time he goes out with the guys, he's likely to show up a half hour early... perhaps with flowers for you.

In short, if you are in a relationship that's struggling, don't head to the book store to spend hours reading to figure out why (you can always do that later if you're curious).  Instead, spend a few minutes figureing out a way to make that person happy... then do it again, and again, and again, and... well, you get the idea.  You will find your relationship improve immensely and then you will have all the time in the world to figure out what went wrong to begin with.  Chances are at the end of all your research you will likely discover it was just that you forgot to make each other happy.

See how simple it is!  If you want someone to make you happy and be more attentive, all you have to do is be one of the people that makes them happy.  They will naturally gravitate towards you, try to make you happy and pay more attention to you because deep down that's what we all want... to be happy!