Invasion of privacy vs. good parenting

This issue is becoming more and more popular and I'm not entirely sure why.  People are arguing that it is an invasion of privacy to read texts on your kids' phones, check out their Facebook/MySpace pages, check out their call logs on the cells.  Since when?!?!  I am their parent; I provide these technological gizmos; and it's my job to help them use them in a somewhat responsible manner.  Now, I'm advocating helicopter parenting here, or sneaking around in secret reading your kids' diary, just common sense and a little parental monitoring to keep our kids safe. 

Here's how things work in my house, perhaps you'll find something that will help you decide how things will work in yours. 

CELL PHONES: I have 4 kids (ages 11-14).  These 4 kids share 2 cell phones.  When I gave them the cell phones they had unlimited texting and very limited minutes for calling.  They knew from the time I gave them the phones that at any minute I might ask to see those phones.  I do this maybe once every couple months... at completely random times.  I will simply say, "Text check time... give me your phone."  They hand over the phone and I read through the texts on there.  What I'm looking for are red flags to dangerous situations or major issues.  I'm not monitoring their language (which is usually worse than a sailor's), or making judgements on the humerous forwards they receive and send, or limiting their ability to be themselves in their texts.  If I see something that concerns me, we'll talk about it... for example, why it might not be a good idea for one of my daughters to send a majorly sexual themed forward to a bunch of boys.  I don't get mad... we just talk.  I also update their contact list for my records.  Yes, I keep a list of all their friends' numbers.  If they are ever missing, I will have a great database to look for them...  I don't use these numbers for any other reason.  My kids don't consider this an invasion of their privacy... it is simple one of the things that they have to do in order to use their phone.  I also require them to charge their phones in my room overnight and they are not allowed to take them to school without special permission.  They complain about it once in a while... "We're the only kids that don't get to have a phone in school!", or "But my friends don't start texting until after midnight!".  I can tell you, when I was in school (before cell phones) I was not allowed to use the phone after curfew or leave class to go make a phone call.  It's common sense.  They don't need 24/7 access to this technological tool.

SOCIAL NETWORKS: Then there's online social networks... Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc.  I have them all myself and don't think there is anything inherently wrong with them.  There are many people (adults and kids alike) who misuse them and put themselves in danger every day.  It's my opinion that kids need to be taught how to properly use this technology for fun without putting themselves at risk before they leave the safety net of living at home.  My kids are allowed a Facebook page age 14 and (if all goes well) a MySpace page at age 16.  The rules are that I must be added as a friend immediately and I must be given the password (they are allowed to change this without telling me when they turn 18).  I check their pages in the same way I check their cell phones.  I do this right in front of them and we discuss anything that might be of concern.  For example, photos of the girls and their friends that are completely innocent (and adorable), might not be appropriate for the internet.  I teach them to view the photos they post online through the eyes of a 40-year-old pedifile.  I don't care how private you set your profile, this is just plain common sense... and yet it's something they can't really be taught anywhere else.  I caught the kids trying to start MySpace pages early and made sure the grounding was enough to deter them from trying it again.  To them, it just isn't worth the risk... especially since they know I'm periodically monitoring these sites.  But I didn't just yell and ground them.  We discussed in detail why they shouldn't be doing this and in the end, they agreed (or al least... they said they did... lol!).

CREATIVE PUNISHMENTS: My favorite "punishment" is for them to prepare for a debate against me on the issue.  In this debate, I take the kid side and they take the parental side.  In effect, they are trying to convince me (and their siblings... our audience) of why the behavior is not appropriate.  They are grounded until they win the debate.  If they do enough research and convince themselves that something is "wrong", they are much more likely not to go sneaking around to do it and they are armed with arguements to defend themselves against peer pressure.  It's a pretty effective method when dealing with difficult issues.  I also give them option to change house rules in this same way.  They let me know ahead of time and we debate the issue.  If they can convince me the rule should be changed, I will consider it. 

My ultimate job as a parent is to prepare them for the world.  How can they function in the world if I control every aspect of their life and don't let them think for themselves?  It's just not possible.  My kids will fail... they will make mistakes (some that they regret more than others)... they will stumble through obstacles they don't fully understand... and all the while, I will support them and provide a life raft for them to hold on to when the water gets a bit too choppy.  In the end, hopefully they will succeed at becoming the best version of their own individuality and live the lives they were meant to live.

New stuff popping up on the blog

Well, as you know (if you've been reading along), I am working on learning new methods of online marketing.  I am mostly using Facebook to do this.  One additional thing I've been doing is adding advertising on this blog.  You may have noticed links to products from Amazon in my blog.  If I refer to something in my blog that you can get from Amazon, I will usually provide a link.  This is mainly to make things easier for you the readers, but it may eventually also become a way to make some much needed added income.  You see, I have been an Amazon Affiliate for years. 

For those of you who aren't aware, affiliate programs pay you a small percentage from each sale when you advertise their products.  I won't ever push you to buy anything... that is not my goal in writing this blog, so please don't feel obligated.  If you do see something you want to purchase though, buying through my link will help support my efforts and will always be most appreciated.

Today, I added a new affiliate program.  It's called Linkshare and allows you to choose from hundreds of companies, all of whom pay a different commission.  You must apply to each company individually and then choose specific links.  This makes it a very personalized for of advertising.  You might have noticed that I now have links to iTunes, Microsoft and Linkshare on the side of this blog.  These links were choosen very deliberately. 

• I adore my iPod... in fact, I never leave the house without it and probably couldn't make it to and from Michigan without it, so iTunes is a logical choice. 
• I am currently typing on a PC (currently running Vista) that I hope to upgrade to Windows 7 soon.  I have always been a PC girl, so another logical choice.  Plus, I know a lot of people who want to buy the new Halo game and you can get it directly from Microsoft.
• Finally, since I think Linkshare is such a great opportunity, I'm providing a link directly to it so each of you can have the opportunity to do the same thing I'm doing. 

All that said, I have just added a website that may soon become my favorite ever website!  In fact, it will likely be the favorite website of every female who finds it... chocolate.com.  If you want to visit it and see for yourself, click on the banner below.  Again, no obligation... only click if you are interested in Chocolate!  BTW... I like mine dark (so feel free to send me some weekly... lol), but they have all kinds.



And finally, I have AdSense.  This falls at the bottom of my sidebar because I dont get to select the links.  The ads are generated by Google based on my blog topics.  They select opportunities that might appeal to the people reading my posts.  These are based on click-throughs, which means I get a couple cents every time you click on one of them.  Again, no obligation... I'm certainly not asking you to go through and click on them for no reason, but if you see something that interests you, click away!

So that's what I've been up to.  I've also been working with my online reading/discussion group (we now have a whopping 50 members!!) to select our first book for the month of February and adding new books (and working out minor kinks) for my Send Brain Cells application.  It's coming along nicely and you will find a link to it on my sidebar as well.  For those of you with Amazon Affiliate programs, feel free to sign up for my app and add some books to it.  Users can add gifts and there is a section to include a link.  I include a direct affiliate link to each book I create with a button that says "Buy this book at Amazon".  I can't possibly add all the books Amazon offers and I'm happy to help any of you get your affiliate marketing off the ground. 

After what I feel was probably the most productive week I've had in a while, I'm getting ready to leave for relaxation, romance and some computer-free time with my honey.  Hope you all enjoy your weekend and I'll chat with you (well, write to you, if you want to get technical about it) next week!

Learning how to do more with Facebook!

Well, in my effort to become more marketable in the current job market and add content for my online book discussion group, I have created a Facebook gifting app.  Yep... you read it right... I created it!  It wasn't as hard as you might think and it's actually pretty cool (in my humble opinion).  It's called "Send Brain Cells" and it lets people send books to their friends.  As you collect books, you receive brain cells... one for each book.  People can also buy the book directly from the application, so it might make a little extra money... although that was not my main purpose in creating it.  I thought it might be convient for people to just click on a link and not have to copy and paste book info if they were given a book they actually wanted to read.  I've got 11 books up there so far and plan to add a couple more each day so people always have new selections to choose from... you can't keep getting the same book over and over... that would be so boring!  So... if you're interested, here's a link for you Facebook users to try it out... http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?v=info&id=244178797905  I'm hoping to get lots of feedback so I can continually improve my skills in this arena.

Next step will be to create a poll application for my book discussion group to use.  This will originally be used for book selection, but at some point I will use it to create other polls during the course of our reading to make the site more fun and interactive.  It frustrates me when you join a group and then no one participates and the group originator just lets it lie dormant.  Why would people want to join a group like that?

By the time all this is said and done, I will have created quite an online experience section for my resume.  I've also added this blog to my resume in this section.  In there I indicate the number of followers/users for each.  If you're reading this regularly, please become a follower and help me boost my numbers.  This is all so new for me, but I'm trying to navigate it the best I can.  If you've got experience in this arena, advice, suggestions, etc, please comment and give me ideas.  I value your input and appreciate constructive criticism!

BTW... for those who are curious... last night's Monday Movie Night movie ended up being Pirates of The Carribean 3:  At World's End.  This is an old favorite that we haven't watched for a while becuase the disk was lost in the house.  It was finally found, so that's what the kids chose.

Easier than I thought :)

It turns out it is not at all difficult to start a group on Facebook, so my online book discussion group is up and running.  You can find it here... http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=279002248792&ref=mf  It is an open group, but you do have to have a Facebook account to join.  We will begin reading and discussing our first book in February.  I'm planning one book a month, since I'm pretty sure most people out there are not as insane readers as I am.  I personally read at least one book a week.  I guess that just means I get to start groups for different genres to enable me to discuss most of the books I'm reading... yippee! 

So now with that's accomplished, I'm offine for a while to tackle a bunch more of my to do list.  Perhaps I'll post again later tonight.

What to do with Facebook?!?!

I've had Facebook and MySapce pages for several years for the sole purpose of reconnecting with people who have drifted out of my life for one reason or another.  During the last few months while laid off, I've found myself checking my Facebook page more frequently than I used to.  MySpace has kind of gone by the wayside.  I usually keep the Facebook window open in the background as I'm doing other things on the computer and periodically check in on what's going on in my virtual community of friends.  I've added all kinds of apps... initially to help friends out who needed additional team members... but now I've got one heck of a Farmville farm, a really high score in Treasure Madness, and a really high bankroll on Texas Hold'em Poker, just to name a few.  I don't spend hours on these games (mostly time management games... although they are more like time wasters), but if I add up all the times I pop in to play a quick hand or plant crops I'd probably be horrified!  I enjoy quick chats with old friends and sharing photos and stories, but again... the time really does add up.

So now what?  Since I'm on Facebook so often, I figured I should get more out of the experience and add some content of real value to the site.  I'm working on a new idea... a sort of online reading club and app to go with it.  At least this gets me into the game creation side of things instead of the player side.  I'm hoping this will be a somewhat better use of my time.  I read all the time anyway, so it makes sense that I seek out and bring together fellow readers in an online forum.  What was the famous quote?  I think it goes something like, "You've only really learned something when you've shared it with someone else."  Now is my time to share some of the things I've learned with the Facebook world and learn some new things myself.  It will take a little while to fully flesh out my idea, but I'm hoping people will enjoy it when it's finished. I'll provide a link here when it's done so my blog followers (yes, there are actually some of you out there reading this... wow!)can check it out too.

On a completely unrelated subject, one of my childhood friends is one of the featured guests in a webinar series later this month called The Millionaire Affair (January 25 - February 6).  It should be a very interesting 2 weeks with lots of knowledge exchanged and it's free to sign up.  If it sounds like something you are interested in, you can find out more information here... http://themillionaireaffair.com/ 

I'm also heading out this month (January 28) to see Dr. Wayne Dyer (in the theater, not live).  The event is called Wishes Fulfilled!  To find out more and find a theater in your area click here... http://www.hayhouse.com/event_details.php?event_id=997&utm_id=DYERFB
  If you'd rather listen to Dr. Wayne Dyer on your own time, you can check out his PBS psecials and get his books or CDs at Amazon.  His new book is entitled Excuses Begone! and I'm currently waiting for my copy to arrive. :)

Both of these events fall in line with what I'm trying to accomplish in 2010 and are therefore worth the time for me to attend.  I'm trying to be judicious in how I spend my time and trying to focus on those activities which further my life goals instead of just wasting valuable time.  The Facebook group could lead me into opportunities I'm not aware exist yet... therefore also indirectly accomplishing my goals.  It is said that the true road to success and happiness can be found by following your passion... here's hoping it works!!!