Friday, February 12, 2010

Valentine's Day

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only female on the planet in a relationship who doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day.  I've never been a big fan.  Previously this has been a problem when I'm involved with someone, but I've finally found someone who also doesn't celebrate... although for much different reasons.  I watch my female friends  spend this time of the dropping hints everywhere their significant other might look about what gift would suitably express love... usually over-priced item that they will forget about before the beginning of March.  I also watch in silent amusement as many couples plan weekend retreats to romantic destinations... and get upset if everything doesn't turn out perfect.  I walk through seas of pink and red stuffed animals and chocolate boxes in every store I go to.  This year I can add that I am bombarded by Valentine's themed stuff online, especially on Facebook.  Am I complaining?  No.  I'm actually happy at this time of year for my friends who celebrate this holiday by cramming a years worth of romance into a 24-hour period.  I feel sympathy for the friends who aren't with someone and feel pressured at this time of year too.  I just choose not to take part in the hoopla.

If you've read this far you're probably wondering why I don't celebrate this mass hysteria day of red hearts, roses and chocolate.  I'm guessing you've come to the conclusion that I'm bitter, alone, have been hurt deeply or don't have a romantic bone in my body.  I assure you, none of these assumptions are correct.  I enjoy romance every bit as much as anyone else.  I relish the thought of romantic getaways with the man I love, scented rose petals, candles, frilly red lingerie, love themed cards and all the rest of it.  I'm not bitter about love and I'm with someone I love with all my heart.  I just believe that if you love someone, your expressions of that love should happen all the time, throughout the entire year, when the thought comes to you. 

In the past I've had a lot of guys say I would make the perfect girlfriend since they wouldn't have to celebrate Valentine's Day, but actually my way is harder.  In my world, every day is Valentine's Day.  Every day bring opportunities to express your love for the human being you've choosen to spend your life with.  If the idea occurs to you one day to bring that someone flowers, you should not have to wait for a Hallmark holiday to do it.  I expect little gestures of thoughtfulness and romance all the time.  It's easy to let someone off the hook for Valentine's Day when they express their love throughout the year.  There's no pressure that way to be romantic on a specific calendar day.  What if you're having a bad day, not in the mood, tired or cranky?  I prefer romantic gestures to come from the heart, and they don't have to be anything big.  It could be as simple as getting up to start the coffee maker because I'm not fully awake yet, or lighting me a cigarette when he lights one for himself, or turning off the tv and lighting a couple candles, or surprising me by hiding a card in my car where he knows I'll find it.  These are the things that make a love last through the years.  The big "love" holidays are nothing more than something to gossip about with your friends when you're comparing who's man is better than the rest.  By the way... I always win that arguement.  It seems that most of my friends who have big celebrations of love on anniversaries and romantic holidays don't get the daily expressions of love.  They get a day of forced romance that is then used to get out of any sort of romantic gesture for the remainder of the year.

So I will smile and bite my tongue and let my friends enjoy their special day... and who knows, we may do something romantic that day also if we're in the mood to, but I won't force or schedule it.  Hallmark doesn't run my life... I do!

For those of you who do celebrate, here are a few gift ideas to help you out. For those of you like me, feel free to use these ideas throughout the year!

For Flowers: Send Valentine's Day flowers & gifts from 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, order early & save!

For Jewelry: Fine Jewelry

If you can't cook and need food delivered: Just point, click and eat!

For romantic bath products and towels: Bath and Body Products at Apothica! and Great Gift Idea-Monogram Towels from

And of course let's not forget chocolate: Find the Perfect Valentine's Day Gift at

And for those who don't have a date yet, there's always 5 Days Free with or Put Personalized Matching to Work for You

1 comment:

  1. A well written article. I am a man that shares your sentiments. Everyday is a valentines day. I love my wife everyday and attempt to show that no matter if I am having a good day or a bad day. Love is more than a feeling. It is an action. It is unconditional. I think love is all the things said in 1 Corinthians 13 vs 4 to 7.